Women Are Born With The Incredible Ability To Nurture – Women have the power to bring this world to life, and whether or not they choose (or have the ability) to have children or not, that nurturing impulse is still within us.
Remember that your partner is not your child
To put it bluntly, your partner or partner is not your child. He is your partner. You must provide him with information similar to the one he offers you. He must earn your trust and your love and likewise, you must make his own.
Too often, our motherly impulse bleeds in a romantic relationship – and that can put us in major trouble.
Maybe you are damaging your relationship with your partner
At the start of a relationship, it’s so tempting to mother your man because you can find purpose and value in it. And if your man has youthful issues with his own mother, he’s going to seek some unhealthy kind of mothering from you.
No worries, it’s natural
And thanks to this blessed gift, she can withstand immense pain and trauma during childbirth. She can breastfeed at all hours of the night, losing sleep and not enjoying anything for the good of the child. She would even act in front of a moving train to save our child – Her maternal instinct is powerful and indescribable.
Here’s why it’s a domino effect:
If you are someone with too many mothers, think about your own youth. Maybe you haven’t received the unconditional love of your own mother or father. Maybe you’ve never had kids, this instinct is an untapped mom’s barrel, and it spills over into every relationship – romantic or not. Either way, you discover a deep fulfillment and convenience when you are a mom.
No need to be their mom
Single or married, ask yourself what you deserve. You are allowed to be a woman and an adult in a relationship. You don’t have to be their mom. Mothering is stressful, selfless, and pointless work unless a real child is involved!
Being a mother can make your partner lose
But this is where it actually gets unfair – a man who enjoys being mothered and being mothered by you will resent you, or lose his tourist appeal to you. Who wants to sleep with their mother? He may need you at first, but like a maturing child who no longer needs his mother, he will eventually reject you – and it could be mentally, physically, or both. Conversely, maybe you’re no longer attracted to him because you now recognize that you need a guy as a fan, not a kid.
When a man needs to be mothered, he is not able to give you anything substantial. He takes and takes, and seems entitled to receive care because he never had it when he was young. But since it’s your instinctive nature to give without the need for reciprocity (keep in mind that you would literally die for your own child), the relationship ends up getting seriously misaligned and you waste a lot of time.
If you are single, it is time for you to be fully aware of this maternal instinct and to harness it while you are dating. It’s one thing to look after when he’s sick, but another to take care of all of his demands and stop what you’re doing just to focus on him. You are also not his therapist or his guardian. Any man who looks for you to solve constant problems is NOT a guy who will offer you. That’s a warning and keep it up!
Being a mother yourself can teach you how you feel
Try this for once: mom yourself. Take care of yourself. Treat all your needs. Do you teach yourself the life lessons that you would give to a child. As a woman, she so often misses this crucial step.
And as the relationship ages and matures, you get so used to mothering your man that the need for something from him feels like mum’s guilt – how could a mother demand anything from her child? Or worse yet, when you actually want to leave him, it feels like leaving your own child – and that breaks your moral code of mothering.
If you are married and have spent years mothering and now you are wondering, “As soon as, when will he take care of ME?” or wonder how you will leave him because he cannot take care of himself, it is time for you to be clear about what you need and not what you continue to provide.
Finally, I would like to say Stop Mothering Your Partner if you want a healthy relationship with your partner.